Onyx Bunny guide
A yes / no / maybe list for couples: how to use one
A simple way to find out what you both want to try, without awkward guessing.
By the Onyx Bunny team · Updated
How it works
Write or print a list of things you might do together: touch, positions, toys, role play, restraint, places, words. Each of you fills it in alone, marking yes, maybe or no. Doing it separately means nobody adjusts their answers to please the other.
Comparing answers
Look first at the items you both marked yes: that is your shared list for the coming weeks. Then read the maybes together and ask what would make them a yes (slower, softer, with a stop signal, not tonight). A no from either person takes the item off the list, with no discussion needed.
Keeping it safe and easy
Agree a stop word or signal before trying anything new. Start with the softest version of a new yes. Check in afterwards: what felt good, what to change. Revisit the list every few months; answers change, and that is normal.
A shortcut
If you would rather not write a list, the free Onyx Bunny couples game works the same way in small steps: it suggests one thing at a time, either of you can skip it, and the gentle challenges are free to start.